Author Topic: Iarasi bancuri  (Read 49298 times)

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Offline janine

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #20 on: Saturday 26 October 2013, 09:40:49 »



Ieri, cand a ajuns acasa de la servici, sotul meu mi s-a laudat ca a vandut 3 saltele si 20 de perechi de chiloti si a castigat £100.[/size]Eu, in schimb, cu o saltea si fara chiloti, am castigat £2000![/color]


Offline janine

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #21 on: Sunday 27 October 2013, 10:42:11 »
O pustoaica intra la frizerie cu tac'su. Sta langa scaunul frizerului, mancand o gogosica, in timp ce tac'su se tunde.[/size]Frizerul ii zambeste si-i spune cu amabilitate: - Draguta, o sa ai par pe gogosica.- Stiu, raspunde ea. O sa-mi creasca si tzatzele...[/color]

Offline brauni

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #22 on: Saturday 16 November 2013, 13:58:28 »
La Sarmisegetuza, Decebal inspecteaza împreună cu Deceneu tributul plătit de către dacii din întreaga ţară.
 - Ce mi-au trimis dacii de la Alutus? întreabă Decebal.
 - Din rodul brazdei, nişte praz.
 - Frumos, răspunse Decebal. Dar dacii de la câmpie?
 - Cel mai frumoz mînz!
 - E frumos, aşa e, spuse Decebal. Să-i spunem Gerula. Dar dacii de la munte?
 - Nişte brînză şi nişte piei de viezure.
 - Excelent. Și dacii mei de la Pontul Euxin?
 - Dacii din Tomis, răspunse Deceneu, l-au trimis pe Mazăre cu nişte pizde!


Offline admin

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #23 on: Saturday 16 November 2013, 22:23:33 »
super tare!!!
The hardest part of my job is being nice to stupid people.

Offline brauni

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #24 on: Tuesday 19 November 2013, 08:58:31 »
 Stii cum au aparut geto-dacii ???      Se zice ca Burebista (rege, nu presedinte) avea o slujnica pe care o chema Geta  si pe care o placea foarte mult, dar nu reusise sa-i faca nimic.  Intr-o zi cand s-a intors de la un razboi cu persii (probabil, nu cu turcii cum au scris la bacalaureat copiii), a prins-o intr-un colt al palatului de la Gradistea si i-a zis : Geto-d'aci nu mai scapi nefututa., si asa au aparut stramosii nostrii (ai unora , ca multi sunt barbari inca).


Offline andram

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #25 on: Tuesday 26 November 2013, 21:13:19 »
Iubitule, îmi iei alt telefon mobil, te roooog ?

Păi şi celălalt ?

Celălalt îmi ia o tabletă .
     

Offline Enya

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #26 on: Tuesday 26 November 2013, 21:16:26 »
 :laugh: Mijto!

I Translate it

Offline janine

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #27 on: Monday 20 January 2014, 22:36:50 »

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
[/size]The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’

‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. !

She went to the bartender and said, ‘Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?’

‘Well, now they know you’re one of us,’ said the bartender, ‘Would you like a drink?’

‘No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,’ said the puzzled nun.

‘You see,’ laughed the bartender, ‘every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?’
[/color]


Offline janine

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Traffic Camera
« Reply #28 on: Sunday 26 January 2014, 15:01:42 »
Traffic Camera[/size]A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result.. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..

You can't fix stupid.
[/color]

Offline andram

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #29 on: Monday 10 February 2014, 09:27:31 »
Anunt in ziar:
"Barbat bine, simpatic, necasatorit, fara antecedente, cu masina, casa cont in banca - dolari, euro - credincios, tin posturi, nu beau, nu fumez, iubitor de femei frumoase pana in 30 de ani, impatimit de muzica disco, tehno, rock, pop. Nu caut nimic, doar ma laud."

Offline admin

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #30 on: Monday 10 February 2014, 09:40:12 »
Anunt in ziar:
"Barbat bine, simpatic, necasatorit, fara antecedente, cu masina, casa cont in banca - dolari, euro - credincios, tin posturi, nu beau, nu fumez, iubitor de femei frumoase pana in 30 de ani, impatimit de muzica disco, tehno, rock, pop. Nu caut nimic, doar ma laud."

Rufus? :)
The hardest part of my job is being nice to stupid people.

Offline mircea

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #31 on: Monday 10 February 2014, 17:06:30 »
Creca
Daca nu era treaba cu credinta se potrivea la multi. Dar asa sigur ii el.
° ¸. ¸    :.  . • ○ °   .   . .   ¸ .   °  ¸.  ● ¸ . …somewhere   ° °  ¸. ● ¸ .   ° :.   . • °   .   :. . ¸ . ● ¸       ° .   ° :.  . • ○    .  °  . ● ¸ .    ° .  • ○ °   .      ° :.  . • ○    .  °  ¸….Way up high… ● ¸     ° °  .  ¸.     ° . .    ¸ .   °


Offline Rufus

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #32 on: Monday 10 February 2014, 19:09:12 »
pai scrie clar ca e unu' care-si face reclama in mass-media, cin' sa fie cin' sa fie?!  :whistle: 
« Last Edit: Monday 10 February 2014, 20:11:18 by Rufus »
"Aquilla non capit muscas"

Offline admin

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #33 on: Monday 10 February 2014, 20:00:12 »
ok, m-am linistit. ii Rufus :)
The hardest part of my job is being nice to stupid people.

Offline Rufus

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #34 on: Monday 10 February 2014, 20:13:38 »

ii Rufus :)


se pare ca te-ai ardelenizat, deci exista o explicatie  :evil:
"Aquilla non capit muscas"

Offline mcgill

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #35 on: Wednesday 12 February 2014, 18:28:46 »

se pare ca te-ai ardelenizat, deci exista o explicatie  :evil:
...iegzista...
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Offline andram

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #36 on: Friday 14 February 2014, 10:11:22 »
Ea: Iubitule, am visat azi-noapte ca mi-ai cumparat de Sfantul Valentin un colier super, din perle..
El: Asteapta draga, pana diseara, si o sa ai o surpriza!
Vine seara, barbatul se intoarce de la serviciu si ii ofera iubitei sale un cadou ambalat frumos. Emotionata, ea il deschide si inauntru gaseste…. o carte: “Interpretarea viselor”.

Offline janine

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #37 on: Friday 28 February 2014, 12:17:39 »
In avion: un domn si o fetita. Domnul zice: - Ce-ar fi sa stam de vorba?, se pare ca timpul trece mai repede conversand . - Bine, zice fetita inchizand cartea pe care abia o deschisese, despre ce ati dori sa vorbim? - Pai, zice domnul, o tema interesanta ar fi despre fizica cuantica nu crezi? si surade superior. - De acord, dar intai vreau sa va intreb ceva: O vaca, un cal si o oaie mananca acelasi lucru - iarba, dar oaia excreta niste bilute, vaca o placinta, iar calul niste mingi uscate. Cum va explicati fenomenul? - Habar n-am, zice domnul, minunandu-se de inteligenta fetitei. - Atunci cum vreti sa vorbim de fizica cuantica daca nici despre cacat nu stiti nimic ?!

Offline janine

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #38 on: Monday 12 May 2014, 18:41:04 »
An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather Abdullah in a nursing home. All the Arab Facilities were completely full,
So they had to put him in an Italian home. After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa.
How do you like it here?" asked the grandson"

[/size]It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said grandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you, since you are a little different from everyone."
"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents," Abdullah said with a big smile.
"There's a musician here - he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro!
There is a judge in here - he's 95 year old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honour.
There's a dentist here - 90 years old. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor!
And Me - I haven't had sex for 35 years, and they still call me The Fucking Arab.
[/color]

Offline Lilith

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Re: Iarasi bancuri
« Reply #39 on: Tuesday 29 July 2014, 10:48:53 »
Pana la urma, s-a dovedit ca bebelusul pe care il cresteam de doua saptamani nu era al meu. Cică a fost nu stiu ce incurcatura la spital. Sincer sa fiu, m-am gandit si eu la treaba asta: eu ma dusesem acolo ca sa-mi scoata ghipsul...